Life can be stressful, i guess we all know that. It is far too easy to get sucked in to everything that is going on around you and letting all of that ‘stuff’ rule your moods and emotions. On those dark days where it seems that the whole world has got it in for you, that nothing is going right and you are left thinking, why on earth do i even bother…it can be more than just a struggle to move forward. It can send you into the very depths of misery. And whilst we know that life cannot possibly be all roses, ribbons and sparkly fireworks, how we deal with the weeds, string and burnt out ashes can be paramount to our mental health survival in this world of juxtaposing idealism between happy and sad.

Social media often portrays the perfect life: smiling faces; happy, laughing families; holidays abroad; tidy, minimalist houses… Dogs that don’t poop on the kerbside with owners who leave it there for you to step into as you walk your own dog in the dark…

Real life isn’t on the perfect instagram page, it’s not photoshopped and cropped to take out all of the bad bits so only the sunny side remains. We have to learn how to deal with the muck, scrape it off our boots and move forward with positive steps into our own future. We have to learn how to accept change and uncertainty.

Easy for me to say, i hear you utter as you roll your eyes skyward and head for that little cross at the top corner of your screen, but before you click it, what about a few tools to use when you feel like life is getting you down.

I’ve been there. It’s hard. But it’s not impossible.

My favourite tool is that of looking for a positive. Anyone who knows me personally is probably fed up of me pointing out a silver lining, no matter how tenuous that thread is. I can guarantee that there is something, in every situation that you can be grateful for, and if you can latch onto that one thing, it may just be the first step in moving forward again. A word of support from a stranger, a break in the rain just when your car has broken down, a gentle hug from someone you love or a song from a bird to remind you that, yes, you can fly.

Sometimes, when life feels particularly dark, i find a gratitude journal works. I write down three things i’m grateful for at the end of the day and focus on them rather than the negative things that have caused me to stress. Again, it doesn’t have to be much, one that i have just thought of for today is that, when i walked into the lounge earlier, my dog raised her head from her nap and wagged her tail at me. It’s not much, but it is an affirmation of good for me. It also reminded me that i needed to take her for a walk… in the misty Cornish mizzle… right after i and straightened my hair and now i’m going to have to straighten it again… can’t have everything i guess… but the walk was necessary and getting out into nature, even with the Cornish mizzle, is another way i tackle that negative oppression.

Socrates said that, ‘the secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new’. My response to change echoes this. We can’t eradicate the bad things from our lives, but we can choose how we deal with them. I choose to be grateful for the lessons they have taught me, i wouldn’t change anything that i have done in the past because it is those experiences that have made me who i am today and are the reason why Maisie wags her tail with delight every time i come into the room – even when i’m not armed with treats to bribe her!

Now, what are you grateful for? I know there is something….

Have a happy day,

Anita xx